again really?

im here almost done with my second year of college
but i feel as though i dont have much academic knowledge
just a wacked out brain and a cracked out heart
put this way, by this girl, rippin it apart.
third blog today once again i start
i cant stop feelin these feelins in me
and i cant stop thinkin these thoughts you see
shes always on my mind and i never forget her
i need to physically force myself to try and neglect her
but i cant i always fail,
her eyes in my mind set sail
but shes taken, my feelings for her are not fakin
but hers for me im still yet to see
she tells me that she really cares for me
but if you cared for me would you be so recklessly
handlin my feelins and yours
spill from the ducts in my eyes and my pores
when were together i feel it oh so strong
but when shes with him i couldnt feel more wrong
if she had to make a choice no doubt itd be him
but i just want to feel like she cares a little bit
i keept puttin myself into this position for pain
if heartbreaks were money shed always make it rain
what am i to you?
answer me:
what am i to you?
am i another dude to talk to when your relationship is rocky?
some rebound guy on the side the substitute jockey?
you drop me when he comes around and treats you right?
forget about me, after you went over there to spend the night?
maybe yes
maybe no
but i hope that im more
we made the agreement to always be friends
and if its cause of this that that relationship ends
then im hella disappointed, youre not what i thought
you were but i think youre better,
a standard setter
you broke all the rules for girls i thought there were
and youre the only one who ive never tried to kiss her